Motherhood’s A Lot Of Pressure
Motherhood is often described as the most rewarding yet challenging journey a woman can undertake. Being a mom comes with its own set of unique pressures that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
Understatement.
There’s pressure…
to know your kids' needs
to maintain peace in the chaos
to ensure a good educational experience
to help them integrate and cultivate friends
to cook nutritious foods
to be a good role model
to instill values
to raise up character
to balance discipline and love
From societal expectations to self-inflicted anxieties, the weight of all that pressure can be immense.
And we're not even talking about the other roles us mom's play and their associated pressures.
Surely you've felt this pressure.
I feel it constantly.
We struggle in balancing responsibilities, personal goals, and the ever-present desire to be the parent each of us envision. We can't escape it-- we're imperfect people trying to reach perfect-like standards. Knowing the truth that we'll never reach perfection doesn't stop us from attempting it.
So is it our fate to feel this pressure our entire motherhood? Yes and no.
The reality is there won't soon be a cultural revolution. To be frank there's too much money and human comparison involved.
But we can change the self-inflicted pressures within this demanding culture.
While I don't have a "how to" manual–I'm in the weeds myself– what I do know is that the concept of letting go becomes critical. That instead of striving for a facade of perfection, here’s a few ways on how I approach a more authentic, imperfectly perfect motherhood.
Create your mother brand.
Ask yourself, the following questions: you were a brand, how would others describe you?hat would you be about? What would youstand for? Emphasis should be placed, not on others' perceptions, but rather on reflecting on what you want to be evident in your mothering. This brand approach can be an intentional filter through which you choose, buy, decide, seek, and spend energy on. There's pressure relief when we narrow our focus to a brand, as everything else simply isn't as important.
Offer yourself self-compassion. The pressure is totally something we do to ourselves--no one is hammering or threatening us to be this or that. It's like we're instilling our own glass ceiling. The perfection we strive toward can be the fact that we're getting shit done rather than the quality of it. And, hard truth, we can't receive others' compassion without knowing how to receive it from ourselves, leading to nowhere you nor I want to be.
Remember kids have no clue about what we’re doing. They love us and are remarkably amazing to be so open to repair and relationship. The self-imposed pressure wants us to believe there's a window closing on our influence while having fear in every move. Yet there's a difference between healthy awareness and consuming pressure. Kids can learn and grow alongside us-- they don't see the pressure like we do, actually helping us release that invisible pressure by reminding us of the basics.
Letting go of that self-imposed pressure allows you to embrace the joy and unpredictability of parenthood. Remember-- your authenticity is good enough, and your wellness is the goal.
