Therapy For Moms
Has Your Motherhood Journey Led To A Loss Of Self?
Are you a mother struggling with your identity? Do you often feel overwhelmed by motherhood and all of the responsibilities it entails? Has infant loss or miscarriage had a lasting impact on you, and you’re finding it difficult to come to terms with your grief?
Whether you’re currently pregnant, recently postpartum, or have been raising your child(ren) for some time, trying to keep your life ‘together’ and being a mother may be affecting you in ways you never anticipated. Attending to your child(ren) and family can be an all-consuming task requiring you to put your own needs aside as you dedicate yourself—mind, body, and soul—-to others.
Placing High Expectations On Yourself Could Be Causing Guilt And Shame
Maybe you’ve recently become a new mother and find the transition challenging. If you are lacking the support you had hoped for, you might be exhausted and burnt out by the demanding rigor of it all. Without adequate time to meet your own needs, you may be more prone to big mood swings, anxiety, and depression, which, in turn, could affect how you feel about yourself, the baby, and the season of life. Or if you aren’t in touch with your needs or forget them, you likely feel lost and question your parenting.
If you have older children, you might be ashamed to admit that motherhood continues to be challenging. Perhaps trying to maintain a work-life balance, haven’t ‘figured out’ your children, or feel like your most competent mothering days are behind you. Perhaps the high expectations you put on yourself to be a “good mother” have become too much to bear. You could also be dealing with unresolved grief and sadness related to the hardship of infant loss, miscarriage, or the challenges of infertility, thus may be stuck in emotional pain with little understanding and no peace.
Receiving perinatal support throughout all stages of motherhood is important to maintain your sense of self. Therapy for new and seasoned moms alike offers you time set aside each week to invest in yourself to gain that sense of identity you deeply desire.
We Often Chase Perfection Even Though We Know It’s Unattainable
Despite culture’s refrain that “no one’s perfect”, there is a pervasive undertone that mothers should strive for perfection. Whether silent or aloud, we face expectations after having a baby to get our bodies back, excel in the latest parenting trends, and sacrificially manage all of our responsibilities. Naturally, when we don’t meet these expectations set by others and often ourselves, it can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
But even when we realize how “not okay” we feel in our role as mothers, we often default to ensuring the care and well-being of our children over our own. We convince ourselves that if we aren’t dedicating all of our time and energy to the motherhood journey or our children, we aren’t fulfilling our parenting responsibilities and, as a result, failing them and ourselves. In our quest to be the best mother, we overlook what the best care approach for ourselves might be. And although there’s a lot of talk these days about how we should prioritize our own needs, few of us are doing it, leading to strained relationships, burnout, and loneliness.
Unrealistic Expectations About Self-Sacrifice Work Against Us
Today, motherhood is recognized as needing to let go of your womanhood through self-sacrifice. Rather than recognizing that the only way women can thrive is to care for themselves because our children need a healthy, healed mother, we are conditioned to believe that motherhood is secondary to who we are as individuals. And with little bandwidth left, we become good at pushing down our thoughts and feelings.
Rarely does anyone explain that, as mothers, it’s normal to feel many emotions, including those in opposition, simultaneously. At moments when we don’t particularly like our kids (admittedly) or our role, we are racked with guilt and would never admit our feelings aloud. 'But the truth is it's okay for emotions to coexist. Recognizing and staying aligned in our values helps ground us.
Whether you’re a new mom, have older children, or struggle with infertility, pregnancy, or infant loss, therapy for mothers can benefit you at any stage of your journey.
Therapy For Moms Can Help You Become Known To Yourself And Others
There isn’t an official endpoint to the postpartum period when life returns to “normal.” The changes that motherhood brings continue to evolve, develop, and adapt over time. Ensuring that you establish a clear sense of self that extends beyond your role as a caregiver is essential to your well-being, not only as a mother but as a woman.
As a mother of three children, I can understand, empathize, and validate your experience. We each bring our unique story to motherhood, impacting how we love, parent, and raise our kids. Through motherhood we get a chance for redemption—to heal from our story, break cycles, and carry forth a new legacy. Thus, being known and doing the self-work ensures you can accept your past, change your future, and develop an enriching relationship with your children.
Counseling focused for moms provides emotional support without judgment, inviting you to express your thoughts and feelings that have either been pushed down, unacknowledged, or unwelcomed. What’s more, therapy for moms offers coping strategies and stress management techniques to help navigate the demands of motherhood, lower your anxiety, improve your resilience, balance your emotions, and become more attuned to your child(ren).
What To Expect In Sessions
Once your goals have been identified, we will customize therapy to address your specific needs as a mother. We may explore wounds you carried into motherhood, such as heartbreak, generational trauma, formative experiences, and the relationships that shaped you into the mother and woman you are today.
In ongoing sessions, we may discuss setting boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and cultivating self-awareness and compassion. We may also touch on parenting techniques, grief and loss processing, anger and stress management, as well as breaking generational cycles of familial trauma, and other coping strategies.
The Modalities I Use In Counseling For Moms
I will incorporate a blend of modalities, including Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment theory, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and trauma-focused care. IFS, for example, can help you identify and appreciate the different parts of yourself that comprise the whole, offering you opportunities to build more self-awareness and self-compassion in your role as a mother.
Utilizing polyvagal theory as well as cognitive and behavioral neuroscience, we will explore the brain and body connection that affects mood, stress, physical health, and thought patterns. Additionally, we may administer a RHETI Enneagram test, an evidence-based assessment that identifies your personality type, a helpful tool in exploring where your strengths and challenges lie.
Know that you are exactly the mother your child needs. By helping you understand and articulate your emotions, identify triggers, and stay in alignment with your values, the goal of therapy for moms is to help you step into your highest and most authentic self. Although it takes courage, using the experience of motherhood as a lens to know yourself on a deeper level allows you to discover who you are meant to be and rewrite your story.
You’re But Maybe Not Sure If Therapy For Moms Is Right For You…
How will attending therapy for mothers affect my family?
Because counseling for new and seasoned moms will impact you, it will indirectly affect your family in positive and meaningful ways. Initially, uncovering and exploring unspoken needs and desires may disrupt the essential role you play within the family.
However, as you continue to engage in the process, motherhood therapy offers skills for effective communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, breaking negative patterns, and strengthening relationships. Seeking support for perinatal mental health is a decision you won’t regret.
Can I include my partner or kids in therapy sessions?
Depending on your wellness goals and needs, involving your partner or child(ren) in therapy can be a beneficial and supportive option. Before inviting them to attend, we will ensure it is a collaborative decision that supports positive progress.
Although not an exhaustive list, some common circumstances that could benefit from your partner and/or children attending therapy for moms with you would be life transitions, grief and loss, building stronger connections, child well-being, partner support, and strategies for co-parenting and blending families.
Will counseling take into account who I was before becoming a mother?
Nothing happens in a vacuum—becoming a mother is a culmination of your past experiences. Motherhood therapy will address your upbringing, past trauma, and general shaping experiences, all of which can have a profound impact on your mental and emotional well-being. Seeking a therapist with experience working with moms can be a crucial step towards healing and being known.
Knowing Yourself Allows You To Step Into Motherhood More Fully
Becoming a mother doesn’t mean having to lose yourself in the process. To find out more about therapy for moms with Be Known Wellness Group, email, call 857-505-1856, or visit our contact page to schedule a free 15-minute call.
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