Psychotherapy Talk: The Gray Area of Wellness

Updated: May 8, 2023

Today there's a large spotlight on health and mental wellness. Wellness inspires self-realization and motivates action--in essence, it requires us to change and grow. Practicing wellness is wonderful.

Yet hidden in the clout of wellness can be shame. Perhaps controversial to admit, its ironic that the thing which calls us to be our best selves is the same thing which causes us to feel insecure.

We're quick to tell others we've completed a five day meditation challenge, yet in that same breath remain silent about snacking on Cheetos post yoga class. Or, we stay quiet about how we're not trying to fix our struggling marriage, but insist on strictly buying organic. Why are we so self-conscious of how others perceive our wellness? It speaks to shame.

Shame is the uncomfortable feeling of being exposed--it's humiliation and negative self-judgment. Somewhere along the way we developed an all-or-nothing, catastrophic thinking: If you subscribe to wellness it's expected all part of your life look a certain way. Either you're "doing" wellness, or you're not. With the culture's continual bombardment of how picturesque wellness is, it's no wonder we perceive it to be something we either achieve or fail. We're bound to feel shame from the start because we're mistaking wellness for perfection.

There's a dire need to restructure our approach to wellness--it's not singular, but rather a multidimensional concept composed of personally unique pathways and timelines. It's a lifelong ebb and flow of diligence and consistency. Wellness is a gray area in which we live, the space between the lies of failure and mastery.

Let's not undervalue our wellness because progress happens in one area of life and not others. And let's not be ashamed about how and when we pursue it. The gray doesn't represent an imbalance of self, but a reminder that we're human...striving toward--not conquering--wellness means we're human.

Xo