IFS: How does change occur?

In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, your "Manager" parts often bring you to therapy, seeking transformation. These Managers typically view other aspects of you as problematic and want them to disappear or settle down. Here's where IFS takes an intriguing turn. Instead of trying to manage away certain pieces, IFS seeks change by connecting all parts—even the troublesome ones with your core Self. Change occurs, but not by directly pursuing it. This approach can take some getting used to, but it opens up a fascinating question: what kind of change are we really after in IFS and other cutting-edge therapeutic models?

People come to therapy with an external issue they're trying to resolve, often relational or situational. But IFS dives deeper, exploring the layers of your psyche. It understands and harmonizes the various elements of yourself. IFS facilitates a more profound, lasting change by fostering a connection between your Self and all your parts.

First-Order Change: External Shifts

First-order change involves altering something externally to feel differently about a situation. For instance, if you're in a romantic relationship that isn't working, you might consider breaking up or modifying the relationship dynamics. While modifying your external environment can be useful, it's essential to recognize that trying to change others rarely works and has limited value when seeking personal transformation.

Second-Order Change: Shifting Internal Dynamics

Second-order change goes deeper by inviting you to reconsider the underlying rules that govern your life. In IFS terms, this means examining your parts' thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These parts have often adapted to early life experiences, and their behaviors make sense within your personal history.

Third-Order Change: Embracing the Solution

Third-order change fully recognizes that the solution to a problem can be a solution in itself. The part of you involved in the problem may be taking a "pro-symptom position" to keep underlying dangers at bay or prevent historical traumas from repeating. Acknowledging this protective role can lead to a more profound and lasting transformation.

How you sought attention from your parents as a child shaped your adult behaviors. For instance, if caretaking or people-pleasing were your primary methods, you might find yourself as an adult who constantly puts others' needs before your own or bends backward to accommodate everyone's wishes.

 Fourth-Order Change

This transformative process allows your extreme parts to reconnect with your core Self, orienting them towards the present moment. It's like giving these pieces a fresh perspective, enabling them to reassess their roles and determine if they're still relevant to your current life.

Fourth-order change allows you to reevaluate the rules you've been living by. Imagine transforming parts of yourself into something more optimal and relevant for your life today.

IFS operates on what's called a "constraint-release" model. This approach differs significantly from "counteractive" therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. But what does this mean for you?

The Tunnel Analogy

Picture your challenges as existing in a long, dark tunnel. This tunnel houses all your distressing thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. The counteractive method would have you fight against these elements, pushing back against the darkness. On the other hand, IFS seeks to release the constraints holding these challenges in place, allowing light to fill the tunnel naturally. Traditional approaches often focus on building an easier path nearby rather than exploring the existing one. However, in IFS, we take a different route. We invite you to journey through that original tunnel with curiosity and openness, guided by your inner Self.

As you navigate this tunnel repeatedly, your relationship with the tunnel's contents begins to shift. What once seemed insurmountable starts to feel more manageable. This process leads to profound changes. Many individuals report experiencing a greater sense of inner calm and spaciousness. What you once viewed as problems may become valuable elements of your journey.

Are you ready to explore the transformative power of Internal Family Systems therapy? Book a consultation today to learn how we can help you.